Did you hear your kids saying “Come on… you dont know how hard it is” or “You dont know about it”. Very often parents want kids to do everything they did not do in the childhood. If one dreamed of becoming an Actor and did not do it, he would gently push their kids into Acting and i am sure you would have seen many such cases around you.
In short, “Parents live their dreams in their kids”.
There seems to be a general tendency that the kids become the exact replica of parents in most aspects. They have similar interests, hobbies, traits and etcetera. However, here is the problem. Some kids are NATURALLY inclined to do something while other are FORCED to do the same. When you are trying out what your kid likes, initially there are some experiments you would do with your kids. Most of the times parents think that the experimentation works well and dont overlook their natural talent.
Sending kids to Dancing, Singing, Karate, Swimming, Soccer, Baseball and other would only give them some physical activity and acts as a means to spend time. If this is complemented by the natural interest in the kids, that would yield the maximum result. For instance, when a kid has the natural inclination in Music, sending them to Swimming and Baseball will not help that kid. However, it may give you an instant gratification as your kid is fulfilling your dream of baseball ???
Even for great parents, sometimes they fail to lead kids by examples. If a father is interested in working out and jogging, it is natural for the kids to go along with father. If a mother has the natural talent of the Art Work and does lot of paintings and exhibitions in the local community, kids naturally find the interest in the Art. If Parents have the good values and ethics in the life, they could explain it to kids and they will follow. If Father is a good swimmer, naturally kids show interest in that. When parents are good or experts at a thing, they usually can explain, coach and train kids better than other parents who are not. Of course, there are always exceptions to any theory and so is this. I was particularly amazed when one of the kid told her mom (who does not know swimming) that she has lot of leg pain and mother should not ask her any help. In another situation a son says to father that, “I am very tired after the swimming lesson and i need to relax”.
In the situations where you dont have a practical experience with something, it becomes very difficult to persuade or motivate your kids. I was talking to a mom who said that her daughter watches a lot of TV in the evening and they are not able to stop her. But the irony is the Mom herself watches a lot of TV and she is almost addicted to it. So now when “this mom” asks her not to watch TV, the daughter will be like…”what the heck…how come she can watch the TV and I can’t ?”. Therefore, Leading by Example has a profound effect on kids. In the end, these are the values that you want to pass on to them.
Did you get into such situations ? How did you solve them ? Do you lead your kids by example ?