Author Archives: sureshkrishna

Family Friend 101 : All that matters is Family!

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We have been closely watching and observing many families and friends. Very often we feel as though the world is filled with problems (of course, which is not true). We always had a keen eye on these problems, because we felt they could be solved (or at least an attempt) with some attitude change or by open communication or by proper education or by setting values and standards.

Ok, here is what we have seen. All the following are in the connotation of Indian Marriage and Family System. Many of these victims are living in India and abroad.
  1. Domestic Violence
    • Women are the victims
    • Women treated as commodities rather than human beings
    • Husband applies his corporate strategies on wife
    • Increase in the verbal abuse of women at home
    • No value for the Marriage System
    • Influence of western ideas on Marriage and Family System
    • No support system for women when they live abroad (or away from parents)
  2. Family System
    • Daughter-in-laws hate mother-in-laws
    • Mother-in-laws hate daughter-in-laws
    • Daughter-in-laws don’t like sister-in-laws
    • Sister-in-laws don’t like Daughter-in-laws
    • Once they get married, “some women” think husband as personal property
    • Husbands don’t interact with girl’s family
    • Family members don’t mix as they think “we think differently”
    • Old age parents are undergoing distress and restraining from life
  3. Marriage System (some husbands say…)
    • I love my wife not because of marriage but because she is a manager in reputed company
    • Just by getting married, you wont develop love on wife
    • Giving food, clothing and basic necessities for Wife and Children is a burden
    • My wife needs to prove me that she is of substance before i love her
    • You pay your phone bill and i pay mine
    • You go in your car and i go in my car
    • Your kids and My kids are playing with Our kids
    • I am the one who is earning and you have to listen to me
    • If you can’t listen to me, get out of my home
    • Because you are not earning, you have to listen to me
  4. and the list goes on and on…
That said, we are starting this BLOG and FACEBOOK to write storyboards on some of the stories that we know of. As a third person, we would like to give few suggestions and also see what other valued and experienced people have to say. We dont want to be bias and we dont want to be oriented.

Why Storyboarding :

We want to write the “REAL LIFE” stories in an “anonymous” tone so that people read the stories and know
  • How to combat a particular situation
  • What others say about a situation
  • Empathize with others
We believe this would help others to understand that they are not alone. We are also talking to few lawyers and see if there is some legal advise they can offer for this “CAUSE”. Many times it is very helpful to know the legal rights to boost confidence in others.

Your contribution:

We don’t have a future without your support. This is the truth :). We need your contributions of stories from your family and friends. The only thing that we need is to follow some rules on posting. Please help your fellow human being

What are the rules:

Following is what we believe in and follow.
  • All posts are strictly anonymous. We are sure that you dont want to be called by your names in the stories. So, please apply to others too.
  • Posts do not contain names and specific places. You can mention Country names.
  • All the Suggestions and Advise MUST reflect the Indian Family and Marriage Values. They should elicit the values but not degrade them.
  • Any posts and comments that degrade the values will be ruthlessly deleted.
  • For the sake of anonymity we have enabled the anonymous comments in blogspot.

So, what’s the future:

We want to work with someone who is Human Activist or Domestic Violence Activist or a strong supporter of Indian Family System. As we grow, we are ready to work with some social organizations and provide help for the needy. We want to provide the Moral Support and Confidence about their lives.

What should you do:

Please go to Blogspot/Facebook and start reading and spreading the word. Each and every blog can be forwarded from blogger to friends that you think would be interested in.
There are already couple of stories that may interest you. Please read, suggest your opinions and spread the news.

A close look at Google Privacy Policy!

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For many Google seems to be a very cool Internet company and Google has become synonymous to Internet. For the people who are not in technology/computer industry, it seems to be too hard to believe that Google is more than just an e-mail service and Search Engine.

I compiled few important legal privacy notices from Google Website and you can imagine how your data, emails, chats, mobile apps and Buzz can be used.
“Google may know you more than your parents, wife and kids”

Google Buzz

Website : http://www.google.com/buzz/help/privacy.html

When you first enter Google Buzz, to make the startup experience easier, we may automatically select people for you to follow based on the people you email and chat with most. Similarly, we may also suggest to others that they automatically follow you. You can review and edit the list of people you follow and block people from following you.

When you use Google Buzz, we may record information about your use of the product, such as the posts you like or comment on and the other users with whom you communicate, in order to provide you with a better experience on Buzz and other Google services and to improve the quality of Google services.

If you use Google Buzz on a mobile device and choose to view “nearby” posts, your location will be collected by Google. If you use a mobile device to create a post which shares your location, then your location will be collected by Google and displayed to other users, as described when you first attempt to use Buzz on a mobile device. You may thereafter opt out of the collection and display of your location on a per-post basis. You can also choose to exclude your location from all of your posts.

If you chose to delete your Google profile, your Buzz posts will be deleted, but the comments and “likes” you have made on other people’s posts will not be deleted. You have the option to remove your comments on others’ posts individually if you’d like. Residual copies of deleted material may take up to 60 days to be deleted from our active servers and may remain in our offline backup systems.

Google Chat

Website : http://www.google.com/talk/privacy.html

Account activity. You need a Google Account to access Google Talk. Google asks for some personal information when you create a Google Account, including your email address and a password, which is used to protect your account from unauthorized access. A Google Account allows you to access many of our services that require registration. When you use Google Talk, we may record information about your usage, such as when you use Google Talk, the size of your contact list and the contacts you communicate with, and the frequency and size of data transfers. Information displayed or clicked on in the Google Talk interface (including UI elements, settings, and other information) is also recorded.

We use this information internally to deliver the best possible service to you, such as improving the Google Talk user interface and maintaining a consistent and reliable user experience.

You can uninstall the Google Talk software at any time through your computer operating system’s uninstall process. You may delete your contacts information or chat histories you have stored in your Gmail account by deleting them through Gmail or by deleting your Gmail account from the Google Accounts page. Because of the way we maintain this service, such deletion may not be immediate, and residual copies may remain on backup media.

Google Mail

Website : http://mail.google.com/mail/help/privacy.html

Gmail stores, processes and maintains your messages, contact lists and other data related to your account in order to provide the service to you.

When you use Gmail, Google’s servers automatically record certain information about your use of Gmail. Similar to other web services, Google records information such as account activity (including storage usage, number of log-ins), data displayed or clicked on (including UI elements, ads, links); and other log information (including browser type, IP-address, date and time of access, cookie ID, and referrer URL).

Google maintains and processes your Gmail account and its contents to provide the Gmail service to you and to improve our services. The Gmail service includes relevant advertising and related links based on the IP address, content of messages and other information related to your use of Gmail.

Google’s computers process the information in your messages for various purposes, including formatting and displaying the information to you, delivering advertisements and related links, preventing unsolicited bulk email (spam), backing up your messages, and other purposes relating to offering you Gmail.

Being a good HOST…is an Art!

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Yes… you heard it right. Being a good host is an aArt. Some people are good at it and some really suck. Not that they don’t know how to be a good host, they just don’t have that Art in them and they don’t seem to understand it.

You go someone’s home as a guest and you feel great about those few hours you spend. You want to spend more time at their home and you feel “like home“. These hosts make you feel great about yourself and gives all the comfort that you need.  There is this other category of people who you want to “avoid“. Even if by chance you go, you feel choked and want to come out of their home as soon as possible. You are there more as a “viewer” and not as a “contributor” and “enjoyer”.  You would go to their home “late” and want to leave their home “early“.

Over the years I have the privilege of being a Guest and Host aswell. When I consciously observe more and more… following are some factors that influence the “perception” of being a good “HOST”.

Invitation/Planning : Of course, this seems to be very simple and straight forward thing to do. Everyone in life is busy (as you are). Allow people to plan their visit to your place and give them enough choices on dates. It is not difficult to do this, if you plan. Calling people on the day of the “Get-to-gather” is a BAD idea (unless they have some idea of the invitation).

Don’t send a simple e-mail and expect people to turn up. It is extremely impolite to invite people by emails (this perhaps is OK when you have a 100s of guests to call). When you are having a private-family gathering, it is nice to call each family and invite. If you are calling 4 families, you are not excused to say that you don’t have (4 * 5 minutes) 20 minutes of time.

Homogeneous Group : As a host you want to take a special precaution and consideration on the nature of people you are inviting. When you celebrate some parties which are typically 2-3 hours, people don’t care what kind of group they are mixing with. But when you call people home to spend an afternoon or evening, they are expecting to talk/discuss/ jokes, etc…

You may want to invite groups where they share much “common” interests and not having “contrast” interests. e.g. some people are “Culturally” inclined, some have strong “Political” views, some talk more about “Kids”, etc…  Considering different interests, you need to make a “sensible” judgment as to see who will blend and who will not.  Few think that “diversity” is good but not to a point where people go into “shells”.

Lively Hosts : You see a smiley face in the morning, you feel great about the day. You see a dull/boring face in the morning, you feel the same. Our moods, enthusiasm and psychology is influenced by the people around us and the company we are.

You can’t have a straight fave and invite people home and expect them to enjoy. Hosts should be lively and friendly to have a great atmosphere. People would not want to be guests at your home and become sad after seeing you. If that’s the case, they would have stayed back as well. Very clearly guests would want to go and meet these (lively) hosts all the time.

Openness : Oh boy, this is so important to understand and implement. Create an environment where everyone if the guests can contribute and share their thoughts. Don’t steal the discussions and jokes. Guests may not say anything at that time but they leave a bad taste on them. e.g. when a guest is talking about “Slum dog millionaire” movie, don’t ridicule by saying that “oh god, don’t even talk about that movie”. In short, don’t interrupt, don’t ridicule and don’t steal the show. Give equal importance to each and everyone.

Some people seem to know “everything” in this word (at least that’s what they think). Dont worry about these people, these are the “real-poor-moron-souls on this earth”.

Cleanliness : Is this even a topic to discuss ??? Who on this world does not know that the house needs to be clean when you invite guests. Sadly, some people dont get it. Really…!

When you invite, it is your responsibility to CLEAR and CLEAN the stuff around. Understand that “CLEAR and CLEAN” both are important. You don’t want your guests to make way into the home thorough all the things lying on th ground. “I don’t have time”, is not excuse. If you don’t have time, dont Invite guests.

Guests can’t tolerate the wet floor, blurry/stained glass in bathroom, stained water tumblers, stained tea/coffee cups and stained bowls and plates. Yes… it is important to CLEAN at least the things that you give to guests.

Food : (mostly in Indian context) Food is the most important part of any invitation of Guests. We love to cook variety of traditional and modern food at home and enjoy with guests. Please do take some precautions when you are cooking.

Don’t Experiment : Your Guests are not guinea pigs. Please do not ever experiment on the day of get-together. You really want the food to be tasty and eatable. If you experiment and you get it wrong, you are not give a very bad impression about your self to that guest.

Make it fresh : This may not seem to be a point of discussion. But many high-tech people cook 1/2/3 days before they invite people. They think that, because i eat “the same junk”, my guests will also eat the same. If you can’t cook fresh, please do not invite. It’s not worth to have a bad memory about you.

Remember : You make nine(9) SUPERB dishes and make one(1) “SUCKY” dish; the chances are that people (like me) are going to remember that “SUCKY” dish for the life long. If you know something is wrong, you better don’t serve. It is better to have 5 average food items rather than 3-Superb and 2-Sucky items. You get that… ?

Send Off : You did everything well and screw up in the end is of no use. When your guests are leaving be considerate and thankful to them that they accepted your invitation and made it home. You need to be kind and thankful, even if they aren’t. When they are leaving, please don’t be watching TV and say “Bye” from your couch.

Clearly, one needs to be more conscious about what they do and they dont when they invite Guests. Inviting Guests and being Hosts is Responsibility and Fun too. Dont let your over enthusiasm or over boredom kill your guests. You may not lose your guests forever; but they will hate to come back again.

Be conscious and have a great fun!

Parenting Styles

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Following is the summary of the thesis from the famous clinical and developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind.

  1. Authoritarian Parenting
    In this style of parenting, children are expected to follow the strict rules established by the parents. Failure to follow such rules usually results in punishment. Authoritarian parents fail to explain the reasoning behind these rules. If asked to explain, the parent might simply reply, “Because I said so.” These parents have high demands, but are not responsive to their children. According to Baumrind, these parents “are obedience- and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation” (1991).
  2. Authoritative Parenting
    Like authoritarian parents, those with an authoritative parenting style establish rules and guidelines that their children are expected to follow. However, this parenting style is much more democratic. Authoritative parents are responsive to their children and willing to listen to questions. When children fail to meet the expectations, these parents are more nurturing and forgiving rather than punishing. Baumrind suggests that these parents “monitor and impart clear standards for their children’s conduct. They are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive. Their disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive. They want their children to be “assertive as well as socially responsible, and self-regulated as well as cooperative” (1991).
  3. Permissive Parenting
    Permissive parents, sometimes referred to as indulgent parents, have very few demands to make of their children. These parents rarely discipline their children because they have relatively low expectations of maturity and self-control. According to Baumrind, permissive parents “are more responsive than they are demanding. They are nontraditional and lenient, do not require mature behavior, allow considerable self-regulation, and avoid confrontation” (1991). Permissive parents are generally, “nurturing and communicative with their children, often taking on the status of a friend more than that of a parent”.
  4. Uninvolved Parenting
    An uninvolved parenting style is characterized by few demands, low responsiveness and little communication. While these parents fulfill the child’s basic needs, they are generally detached from their child’s life. In extreme cases, these parents may even reject or neglect the needs of their children.

The Impact of Parenting Styles

What effect do these parenting styles have on child development outcomes? In addition to Baumrind’s initial study of 100 preschool children, researchers have conducted numerous other studies than have led to a number of conclusions about the impact of parenting styles on children.

  • Authoritarian parenting styles generally lead to children who are obedient and proficient, but they rank lower in happiness, social competence and self-esteem.
  • Authoritive parenting styles tend to result in children who are happy, capable and successful (Maccoby, 1992).
  • Permissive parenting often results in children who rank low in happiness and self-regulation. These children are more likely to experience problems with authority and tend to perform poorly in school.
  • Uninvolved parenting styles rank lowest across all life domains. These children tend to lack self-control, have low self-esteem and are less competent than their peers.

Avatar Movie : My take on it…

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I just watched the Avatar Movie this afternoon around 3.30pm show in Regal 3D-IMAX in Dublin/CA. Its almost 2 hours 40 min movie and well thought out hi-fi science fiction.

Nice aspects of Movie :

  • The graphics work is AWESOME! All the scenes in the movie looked very REAL.
  • I heard the complete Navi clan, especially Navi female (Neytiri) is completely computer generated. That is a complete brilliant work done by Technology/Graphics.
  • The Pandora’s hanging Mountains, Dragons, The Giant Tree, Mountain Banshee/Ikran, Rhinoceros like, Viperwolf, beautiful creatures in jungle are wonderful creatures that felt life like.

What could have been better :

  • The fight machines/Amplified Mobility Platform in the movie seems to be replica of Matrix Movie which we have seen in Xion.
  • The initial screen based computer and navigation seems to be borrowed from Minority Report/Matrix.
  • Some of the scenes like mountains and terrains are similar to Lord of The Rings/Harry Porter.
  • The “Unobtanium” metal –  the reason why humans are on Pandora does not seem to contain any importance. This is a little silly concept and did not gel well with the rest of screen play.
  • The first 30 minutes seems to be dragging and slow.

All in all, it is a disappointment for a James Cameron Movie. Perhaps the expectations are too high. What i saw was a combination of different movies and shortage of originality for the Avatar.

Viperwolf

United Andhra Pradesh Links

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and many more to come till “Samaikhya Andhra Pradesh“!

Were to see Bay Area Christmas lights…

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Math Logic (Humor)

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What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder
about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all
been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How
about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these
questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%*

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5= 96%

But*

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that
while* Hardwork* and *Knowledge *will get you close, and* Attitude *will
get you there, its the *Bullshit*  and *Ass kissing* that will put you
over the top.